Sent: Monday, November 29, 1999 2:29 PM

Subject: To the Moon, Alice, To the Moon!

All right you monkeys, let's go over this for the last time.


There are no exceptions. If you are having a millennium party this December 31st., you are a moron. You are stupid. You are a fool. You are WRONG. There is no argument on this point so stop your internal dialog. But Dave, you say, Next year is the year 2000, so it must be the next millennium. Did you not hear me before? You are WRONG!

Lets get through the academics of this first. Was there a year zero? No? Well then the millennium must have run from 1 to 1000. The next millennium must run from 1001 to 2000. hmmm. Looks to me like 2000 is part of the second millennium. I guess that there Arthur C. Clarke might have been on to something with his novel '2001: A Space Odyssey'.

Now I have had some people argue that I am just being a purist on this subject, but let me assure you that I am not. Instead of being purist, I am being correct. Did you ever argue with your math teacher over an incorrect answer, saying that the teacher is merely being a purist, and that it does not matter, because 1 + 1 = 3 to you, and you are right in your convictions? I will give a dollar to anyone who tries that load of crap and gets away with it.

You may argue that it is merely my opinion, I assure you that that is definitely not the case. My opinion has nothing to do with it. The veracity of my opinion is merely an extension of the TRUTH about date systems, and the way they function. Unfortunately I seem to be the only one with a clue on this subject.

I saw on the news how there will be all kinds of millennium celebrations at the end of this year. Poor deluded fools. There are even a bunch of countries over near the international dateline fighting for the right to be the millennium party spot, come January 1st. One country says they stick out a little farther than another. The other says that they are on the 'true' international dateline, so the millennium starts there first. New Zealand says that since they get the sun before anyone else, they are the party spot. There is even a podunk little spot of a nation that has extended it's time zone over 500 miles to get the claim on being the first place where the millennium starts. Since they are all a year early, they look like idgits.

And who really cares about this anyway? Why should I care about spreading the truth, when a simple falsehood has already spread like cancer across the world? Because right is right, and wrong is wrong. I don't argue my point because I want to stand out as someone who takes a stand against injustice or any of that kind of crap, I do it because when you are wrong, you look stupid. If you defend yourself, because being wrong doesn't matter and you want to fit in with the rest of the incorrect world, you are sad.

We need to show off how smart we are, not how stupid. If you can't get a year right, give it up ace. You should not be allowed to operate a calendar. If you choose to be stupid, don't bring me down to your level on this subject again. Happy painting, and god bless.

-Dave at the SSC Call Center